Forgot to tell you all about the weekend. On Saturday I left Johnathan cutting away so I could slip over the hill to lay down tracks for the Pegasus tune that may (or may not) make it onto the album. (The instrumental version subsequently appears as you hear Mr. Rochester & co. walk out onstage). The studio (Barry Paul Recording) is run by a guy named Barry Paul…life is full of co-incidences…who, for all you trivia hounds, used to be the guitar player in the Heavy Metal Kids. The rhythm section for the Pegasus track were my old band mates Cliff and Brian – the backbone of the Transatlantic Rhythm Kings and the name on the back of Buss’s tour jacket for ‘knuckle-down time.’ With some amazing guitar from Jeff Cardone and some BV’s from Julie, our music supervisor, we were ready for Doug to lay down his distinctive metal rapping style – watch out Fred Durst. I love the result – hope everyone else does too. I wonder if they’ll just be nice to me because I’m the director and pretend? (Woops – a moment of insecurity there.)

Meanwhile across the valley John, Julie’s husband, was producing a dance mix of U+Me=Us and Julie was watching over the recording of “You’re My Baby Girl” and another great song, a ballad, whose title I can’t remember in two SEPARATE studios miles apart! RESULT – a lot of tired children on Monday morning and DATs from all over town making their way to Julie’s place for inclusion in the album.

These are the things that need to happen so that dream I had in the Virgin Megastore on day 15 can come true.

At about 11 this morning Damon, our long suffering assistant editor, sent off the first proper assembly of the movie for all the big knobs to watch. What will they all think? Will I ever work in this town again? It was a tough job getting the assembly done in time and that was with an extra days grace kindly supplied to us by Maggie. Johnathan put in an absolutely Herculean effort last yesterday and worked for 20 hours straight on the cut. We left the edit at 530 this morning absolutely destroyed. I supplied moral support to Johnathan by reading Q magazine, playing Freecell on my laptop and dozing on the couch in the back of the edit room. Johnathan struggled gamely onwards while my ability to make any sensible decision was seriously affected by wanting desperately to go home and get some sleep. And all the while Damon slept on the couch in the edit room next door waiting for us to finish so he could slug it all together for us.

These guys are amazing, they have put their trust and loyalty in me so we can do the best possible job and have something on our resumé of which we are all proud. But the sight of us wandering through the dimly lit corridors of the editing rooms at 5am looking for sustenace was not a pretty sight.

Today we met the music editors, a happy couple, named Sienna and John. It will be their job to slug in various compositions and musical ideas so that we and Camara, our fine composer, can have a clear idea of the musical approach for each scene. I feel very strongly that the tone of the movie will be heralded by the music and hope that we can discover something that is both hip and funny. In my minds ear I imagine a combination of Y2K beats with tubas, accordians and kazoos playing over the top…

You might not believe this is possible but the concept of releasing a soundtrack album from a movie full of music has only just started to become a reality. I first brought up the idea of a soundtrack album in November and was quickly told: “Why don’t you just direct the film instead of meddling in something you know nothing about!” Well all of a sudden it seems we have at last found someone who wants to release a CD so this morning we all sat in a small office in West Hollywood and tried to stir up half a dozen new songs so we can transform an EP into a full length CD. If the album can be released in time for the movie’s appearance on your screen we have to start and finish another half album in the next seven days! Perhaps we can re-record this demo, perhaps we can borrow that song from there, perhaps we can fill out “You’re My Baby Girl”, perhaps I can come up with a bad metal tune for Pegasus (Doug’s defunct heavy metal outfit).

After a hard day in the editing room I raced home to pick up my guitar and start riffing. “When Medusa was slain by that greek guy Perseus / that’s when I was born and my name is Pegasus…” I needed ideas for some truly awful lyrics and an old Whitesnake album gave me just the inspiration I needed. Four hours later, and with my long suffering neighbours probably stuffing cotton wool in their ears, I think I’ve cracked it…

Technically speaking post production started at the end of our first day of shooting when the first cans of dailies were sent to the lab. Johnathan, the editor, started viewing dailies the minute they arrived in LA and has been working in a vacuum (i.e. without me) ever since. Despite pulling 12 hour days and 6 and 7 day weeks (3 days off to be with his family over the holiday) he is still assembling the last few scenes of the movie. A well known poster in post circles here in LA has a warning for all single people of a certain age. Underneath a picture of a tired editor hard at work is the salutary caption: NEVER MARRY AN EDITOR.

With the assembly complete we will sit back and look at the movie and start to make it work. Whatever we intended to acheive with the script we now have a new master to serve – the footage in the cans of film we have shot. Inside these cans is hidden the movie you will see on your screens in less than seven weeks time. We are already sending cuts out – the promo people in New York need something to vibe up the troops – but this baby is not even partially formed in the womb and I hope desperately that these people, whom I’ve never met, understand that we do know what we are doing and we know that our child is imperfectly formed and needs further gestation before we can push it into the world. Well they’ve trusted me so now I must return the favour.

Spent the afternoon transferring the dailies for the video. This process is called TELECINE and the guy who operates the equipment is called a COLORIST. Colorists drive luxury cars and live in comfortable houses but they have very pale skin and squint if they go outside. I have spent so much of my life in dark rooms with colorists that some of them are now my best friends. (My last band had not one but two colorists and a telecine engineer in it). Telecine involves threading the film through what is basically a very large and accurate projector that is tilted about 15 degrees off vertical in a climate controlled machine room. By twiddling a vast array of knobs in front of the most expensive TV monitor that money can buy the colorist can then adjust the look of the exposed film. He can make it darker, lighter, give it more contrast, change the skin tone of the actors, even adjust the colour of the sweater someone is wearing. As telecine machines have become more sophisticated so the look of the footage on MTV has become more exciting. Tomorrow Declan, who has edited loads of videos for me, will start viewing the dailies and inputtting them into the computer so he can start cutting. Dec will be working in the cutting room next to Johnathan – 2gether is gradually taking over a small building in Hollywood. The video has to be finished by next Friday. No time to lose…

I’m in a land far, far away and tomorrow I fly back to LA-LA land to finish the movie. My time in Vancouver has served me well – the rain and cold I’ve encountered on my trip seemed like nothing after the Canadian South-West.

Now the post-production begins in earnest – a big sprint to the finish line at the end of the month. We’ve got to hire a composer, cut and mix the movie in about 4 weeks. No sleep till Hammersmith…

The meeting between 2gether and another band in the truck stop had been a fly in the ointment since day one and we just couldn’t find a band who could get in synch with what we were trying to acheive or even 98% as excited as we were about the movie. Then QT came up with a germ of an idea that led to the replacement scene that finally landed on our desks on Thursday night. The answer, of course, was right under our noses all the time: 2gether needed to bump into Woah! All credit must go to Maggie who had singed her right ear off with the cell-phone talking to half of New York so we get the new scene approved.

In the corner of the Bannerman Convention Centre we had built a truck stop and we rehearsed the new scene over and over trying to get ten actors to hit their marks in the tiny space we had allowed ourselves. Swimming upstream against the holiday vibe that had pervaded the set Kev, Marc and I struggled to get everyone to focus and it wasn’t going that well then, suddenly on take 3, it gelled. Everyone got it and all we had to do was get the coverage.

At about 8pm the camera was shooting a bunch of stills of Buss with the Johnson Five, the Fifth Unit and 2 Cool 4 Skool. For the final time I yelled “Check The Gate” and it was all over. I hugged Marc who has become a firm friend and blubbed like a child.

As the day had progressed little packages started appearing on my desk – gifts from the crew and cast and every gesture moved me beyond words. The Wrap Party was a fine ending to our little adventure – everyone got a present and we all danced to QT’s latest CD and raved like crazy to 2gether (the song). Having staggered from my bed at 6am to go to work I couldn’t believe I was still frugging at 3am. Within hours our party will be separated forever. Some of us will be journeying to Europe some are going to Mexico (not Tony still recovering in hospital) and Abraham, who first guided me to every location, will not be going to Venezuela as planned because of the terrible flooding there and must find a new destination for his Christmas break. I feel for him as he had been looking forward to the trip for months.

As I soaked in the bath before the wrap party I remembered a quote from Robert Bolt the screenwriter who wrote Lawrence Of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, A Man For All Seasons and Ryan’s Duaghter. He said “At a pinch all directors without exception think in all sincerity that if they put their minds to it they could write, act, design and photograph the film better than their actual colleagues.” At times I have been very guilty of that attitude, and today was no exception, but the truth of the matter is that any filmic undertaking is a team event and everybody deserves equal credit for completing the film on time and, as far as I know, on budget.

Unsung Heroes Of The Set Part Eight: The Editors. While we’ve been doing the glamorous bit up here in Vancouver Johnathan and his crew have been cutting away in a small room in Hollywood. Everyday a new batch of rushes has arrived in the office down there and one of his assistants has worked through the night inputting the footage into the Avid so that Johnathan can come in in the morning and start viewing and cutting. I’ll be sitting beside him on Monday morning and we’ll see what it looks like – I can’t wait. Principal Photography is over – we’re now officially in Post Production.

It’s dawning on me that it’s nearly all over and I’m heartsick. I’ve never seen so many happy faces on a set and a party mood has taken a hold of all of us – I’ve tried manfully to keep myself concentrated all day but it’s been hard and like the cast and crew I’m feeling light headed – Robert and Troy were wearing funny hats today and I wished I had one too. Sensing our joy the sun came out and stayed out all day – and it NEVER rained once.

We finally got to shoot Jerry and Buss driving to New York as we wrapped tonight. This scene has been hanging over us for two weeks – an unfinished piece that we tried to slot in a number of times. Some kind man in Vancouver loaned us his car as the Buss-mobile and he has been expecting it back for days. Finally the Cadillac will make its way back home. Today was also the last day the Indian was around in all its glory. It is being de-commisioned and returned to the dealer we rented it from. Some innocent couple will purchase it and take it on a trip across the country unawares of the hours of fun and drama that took place inside its walls. I can see the sign now: “For Sale, Winnebago 90,000 miles, Good runner, star of MTV movie 2gether!”

Unsung Heroes Of The Set Part Seven: the Art Dogs. They build us sets before we arrive and can’t break them down till we wrap. They are expected to miraculously come up with dressing to cover up walls that Marc and I don’t like the look of, produce tiny props at a moments notice from Buss’s rolodex to bras and teddy bears that will be thrown at the stage. My ideas are always bigger than their budget and I could make their lives easier if only I could make up my mind. They are the first to be blamed and the last to be thanked and yet I can’t ever remember working with an art department person who didn’t have a smile on his / her face. They often have to stay up all through the night covered in paint. More than once in my life I have found the art department behind the set curled up like babies in paint-spattered overalls fast asleep on a stone cold floor, spent with exhaustion, just to make my reel look good. Is that selfless or what?

What did I tell you? 2gether made it to Jacksonville and they kicked Whoa! butt big-time. Bill, the movie’s producer, worked some magic with the numbers and we had a total of 270 extras (or thereabouts) and they ruled. They screamed their hearts out for hours and hours, learned the lyrics to three songs and the You+Me=Us arm routine. One of the girls asked me to write a letter to her boss because she was afraid he might think she was goofing off for the day. If you read this Jeff she wasn’t skiving and I hope you can find it in your heart to let her have the day off now and again to pursue her acting thing. It was a real buzz to hear all you girls singing the songs between shots. You know, I think that Bob Buss is onto something.

It was also a day of incredible ups and downs. Jerry was so sick we had to send him to the doc in the morning. Would 2gether make it? Well it takes more than a fever and exhaustion to keep Jerry O’Keefe from shaking his butt onstage – or maybe he just wanted to get back to the set in time for Mickey’s birthday cake. Happy Birthday Mickey P.

Unsung Heroes Of The Set Part Six: The Guys ‘n Gals in the production office. The two Alisons and Balazs, Richard and Suzie are the folk who receive the faxes, answer the phone calls, arrange the photocopying and so forth that keeps our day moving forward. What’s even worse is that they work in a vacuum separated from the set by half a city. Like Don, Laurie and Nancy in the accounts department we couldn’t survive without their work but when they come down to the set I’m sure most of the crew wonder who they are. Our crew is like a little city – there are people who toil away through the night and the day to keep our factory churning out film. Not everyone will get to be a star, a producer or whatever but everyone can contribute something worthy to the final film. It’s a bit like life isn’t it?

And on that note 2gether Industries wants to send best wishes to Tony, our production designer, who got very sick at the weekend and had to be rushed to hospital. The set looked great today, Tony, and your team has pulled 2gether hard in your absence. We miss you and hope you get well soon.

Oh, the delights of being inside! It rained hard all day long and we just sat and worked and stayed dry…of course we weren’t warm because the heating makes too much noise and that would ruin the sound-track, but you can’t have everything. We not only made good time, but we caught up on three scenes we’d been carrying over. We’re virtually back on schedule.

Unsung Heroes Of The Set Part Five: The caterers! When I get to the set at 7 tomorrow morning the catering truck will already be parked there in the big puddle. Cereals will be laid out on the table, fruit will be ready-cut in the bowls, six flavours of yogurt, various nuts, dried fruit and breads will be on offer and a huge range of breakfasts are available in less than five minutes…and they’re already cooking lunch. What time to these people have to get up in the morning to make sure I can consume my bacon & tomato sandwich at 645am? My only conclusion is that these guys must be already cooking while I’m still asleep. Phew!

2gether worked hard all day and under pressure too. Jerry had bronchitis and QT had the stomach flu. But the good news is we were inside all day and free from the vagaries of the weather. Each member of the band got to live out his fantasy: Jerry & Erin got married; Chad got to ride his SEA.DOO; Doug got to go back to Pegasus and play with a real guitar; Mickey got to box in a ring and QT spent time in his harem with a bunch of girls. He even took home some phone numbers!!! I guess he wasn’t THAT sick after all.

The MTV crew were here in full force. We had David with us who is Maggie’s boss and also the guys who’ll be creating the website. I played the part of my alter ego all day, Bif Rydberg, but failed miserably at keeping up the accent – I pity the poor editor who tries to cut that stuff together.

Unsung Heroes Of The Set Part 4: Extras. We sometimes call them background and that’s what they do – they fill out the background, walk through a shot, pretend to be having a drink at the bar or talking with a friend. On this film they’ve spent hours in the cold and wet and, even worse, I’m not allowed to talk to them. So if I wanted to say “Thank-you” at the end of a take and suggest they should go inside for a cup of coffee I’m breaching the rules. If they ask me a question I have to turn away as if they are some kind of Untouchable sect. But without them we’d be lost in empty cities or stranded in customer free diners. Next time you watch a movie or TV show count how many people you see in the background never saying a word as they run from Godzilla, eat in a restaurant or dance at the prom – and wardrobe has to find clothes for everyone of them and make-up and hair has to give them all a make-over.

Today all of us at 2gether Industries were excited because the Right Honourable Carson Daly from TRL flew in to take part in a bunch of scenes which will pepper the movie and show Whoa! on the way to their ultimate demise. Mickey and Chad were particularly excited to meet Carson, as was I. Somehow having a bona fide star presence around for the day has legitimized what we have been working so hard on for so long. “If Carson’s here this really must be happening.” And I’m glad to report he’s a real stand-up guy and seems very grounded for a man who’s on TV screens all over the USA at 3 o’clock every day. Did you know he used to be a golf pro?

We were also visted today by a reporter from Rolling Stone and by a crew from Entertainment Tonight. I watched with delight as Chad, Doug, Jerry, Mickey & QT took to the interview process like ducks to water. Those hours of drilling by Bob Buss in the conference room paid off in spades, but I’m glad nobody asked Jerry or QT what their favourite colours were!

We started the day with the guys performing their 2gether theme song in the local Virgin Megastore who opened their doors specially for us at 7am. Somehow fact and fiction started blurring right in front of my eyes as we covered the store with 2gether flyers and gave their ‘fans’ CD’s for an album that doesn’t exist. If all goes according to plan, and I sincerely hope that it does, REAL copies of a 2gether album will be available in this very emporium in less than three months. It’s like that Andre Gide book which is about a man writing a diary about a book he’s writing.

With the Megastore complete we made our final company move. Everything we shoot from now on will be at the same location and it’s close to the hotel too. Even more importantly we will be sheltered from the elements – I’m ashamed to admit that the weather was definitely starting to effect morale. I’m grateful that we’ll be warm and dry for the remainder of the shoot. By the way could someone explain to me why, in a city which has such consistent rain, it is necessary to send out trucks to water down the streets at midnight? It’s a bit like semis driving through Cairo in the dead of night distributing sand.

And finally tonight Unsung Heroes of The Set Part 3: Grips and Electrical. These guys are kind of like the roadies of a film set. Every night they take their very heavy stuff (dollies, sand bags, 5K’s, 10K’s, cables etc.) put it in the truck and go home. Every morning they have to unload the whole caboodle and rebuild it all over again. But it’s not just a job for some guys with large shoulders, there’s a lot of skill in lighting a set up or building a dance floor for the dolly in ten minutes. What’s more Ian and Dean’s crew are quiet and hard working. Go guys go – enjoy your weekend!

Today was our last day in New Westminster. Despite its difficulties it has served us well and I am sad to leave. We departed in fine style with Chad and his other Teen Pageant contestant buddies lining up in their speedos for a bit of teutonic marching practice. In most movies I suppose it would have been a line of bikini-ed babes but the girls had the last laugh this time and got to watch Mr. Rochester, Mr Utica & co. strut their stuff.

Unsung heroes of the set part 2: Transpo’. Last night we left a bunch of trailers and trucks outside the Turf Motel at 9pm in the pouring rain. Lights were burning, heaters were heating and it looked like a small town on its own in the parking lot complete with flush toilets, televisions, video cassette players, fold out beds, photocopiers, clothing racks etc. This morning at 730 the whole ‘circus’ (as we call it) had magically re-appeared outside the Massey Theater. How did it get there? Where did it spend the night? None of us seems to know or care – unless it’s late. When they made African Queen they were miles down a river in the midst of the jungle and Katherine Hepburn did her own wardrobe and changed behind a tree with a mirror hanging from it. Movies aren’t made like that anymore and the inside of these trucks are more plushly furnished than many people’s homes. As I write this in my comfortable hotel room John, Brian, Chuck and co. are shifting the circus to a new location so that when we arrive in the morning we’ll all feel at home and ready for a day’s work.

Rain, rain go away, come back on Mother’s Washing Day…some chance. So it rained all day – big surprise and we got behind. The poor actor who turned up to play the Sea.Doo dude hung around and never got to work. I hate it when that happens.

Unsung heroes of the set – Part One. Script Supervisors. What do they do? (They used to be called continuity ladies at one time but of course you could never do that now – though I’ve never met a continuity ‘chap’). Ours is called Pam and she’s the best. She takes a note of every take, which are my favourites, which lens we used, focal distance, f-stop, footage count etc. She then keeps a note of which hand the actor was using to hold the door when he climbed into the Indian, which person entered first, which lines were missed, which lines were stepped on etc. It’s an endless, thankless task. She tells the actors what they did in the last take and actors aren’t always ready to ‘hear’ what she has to say so it takes great tact and patience. She’s also the only person on the set in a ‘one person’ department. No-one around to take over for half an hour, cover for her if she oversleeps and without her we’d be lost. Every movie has one and every shot you see on your TV or movie screen has been watched over painstakingly by someone like Pam. As you settle-in in front of the TV this evening give yourself a test. After 5 minutes ask yourself which hand the bad guy was holding the gun in when he raced out from behind the building? Which hand did the good guy hold his drink in when he started the speech, which hand did he have the cigarette in at the end of the speech? Bet you get it wrong.

Say a thank-you to all the Pam’s of the world. Without them you’d notice all these stupid things that would take you out of the movie and destroy your enjoyment of it.

I can see it in their faces as they drive by – they think we’re nuts. 30 grown people sitting outside wrapped in a variety of thermal clothes, huddled around portable gas heaters while one individual in a particularly bright thermal outfit (me) watches TV and barks orders and waves his arms around a lot. That’s what happened today for 13 hours and NO RAIN! (OK a few drops just before lunch).

Buss discovered Jerry right across the street from where we shot the last scene two weeks ago on the first day of the Sphincter Unit. Not my original intention but a location SNAFU (not Abraham’s fault I hasten to add) meant I had to pick a new location and fast last week sometime. And you know what – in the end this compromise paid off. It was probably the right choice all along and served our purposes nicely.

Lunchtime brought a package from the Fedex man: my first look at some of the scenes cut together…and wow – we’re actually making a movie. It works. I can’t wait for Maggie, our exec, to come back tomorrow so I can show her some stuff.

We finished the day at the strip club where QT races inside to find some girls. However the “GIRLS” sign was not doing it for me so Kev despatched his trusty second, David Footman, to hoof it over to the Paramount (the emporium down the street where young women divest themselves of their fine apparel) to enlist one of their young employees to provide the necessary incentive for QT to make his dash inside and voila we were in business. Yes folks…that’s what a Second Assistant Director does for a living.

Let’s talk about coverage shall we? Coverage is the different angles you employ to ‘cover’ a scene; the different cuts, the close-ups, the wides etc. So, we started the day with a scene that is 4 and 2/8 pages long which means it will be in the movie for about 4 minutes. (Quick movie rule of thumb: one page equals one minute). And this is all one scene so you want everything to look like it’s being shot at the same time right?

Well try this. You arrive in the morning and it’s pouring with rain and it’s dark and you know that you have (after lunchbreak has been subtracted) about 7 hours of usable light. As it gets brighter the rain lessens off and it looks kind of grey so you figure you can make that work. About 11am it starts raining again, hard. So now you have two looks and the actors are wet as well as cold. Before we reach lunch the sun comes out so Marc (our DP) is trying to match the close-ups to the rainy, grey stuff we had earlier. Then it starts hailing! And of course the sun comes out for a final burst before it races away at 4pm.

Mickey and Jerry just before lunch when the sun came out!

I watched a movie last night, which wasn’t very good, but the sun was out constantly and everything matched. Why not us? Everyone is working so hard and this is the stuff which just gets in your way and messes with your day. I’m trying to make sure I’m sending great performances to my editor and there we all are under a snap-up sheltering from the hailstones! Here’s the good news: it happens to everyone – even the greats. There’s a moment in North By North West when they get to Mount Rushmore and you can see that the sun went down between two of the shots and, you know what, it’s still a great movie…perhaps no-one will notice.

Act Three is complete.

We were shooting in Buss’s 9th floor hotel room and I wanted to have his Rolodex in the opening shot but it had mysteriously made its way back to the props house which was 45 minutes away. It was an important little detail that represented all the contacts and years of work that Buss had put in with the Fifth Unit etc. Not having it in the shot was a disappointment but I was going to be a big boy and do without it. Then the fire alarm went off! Buss got dressed (he was in his plaid boxers) and we all trekked down 9 flights out into the bitter wind, back to the front of the hotel only to find it was a false alarm. We all returned to the set for our final rehearsal and by the time we were ready to shoot the Rolodex had arrived! Serendipity? Who knows.

We finished the weeks work at the 50’s drive-in where Mickey went head to head with a fibre-glass pig. I think we’d all been secretly waiting for this scene and Mickey didn’t let us down. “Rodney King!” he cried over and over as the Georgia State troopers lead him away to their car.

Somehow we are already half way through the shoot. How did this happen? I’m realizing that I must concentrate even harder now than I did at the start. The sense that it’s all going well is an insidious little demon that can lead to complacency on my behalf and now I’m responsible for turning all the hours of hard work by everyone else into something truly entertaining. Besides we have to get 2gether to Florida to see if they can whup Woah! butt. My gut feeling is they can do it.

A day of weather ironies. At 7am I find myself scouting a location in the dark and in the pouring rain for a scene that will be shot in daylight and with the sun up (I hope)…Then in the afternoon we go outside (where at last the sun has appeared) throw a tent over The Indian and pretend the boys are driving down the highway at night! Go figure…

This last gag is called “Poor man’s process” or PMP for short. What we do is cover the band’s van with huge and heavy black drapes provided by Dean and his merry bunch of grips, then light the van as if it were travelling down a highway at night. Finally we put the actors in their seats and film a scene as we rock the van to and fro. ‘Why not drive the van down the road and shoot?’ I hear you ask. Well you can do that but you get lots of road noise, you don’t get the same angles, it takes up loads of time and it’s not always sensible to ask an actor to drive and act at the same time. (No offence Doug). There is another way which is to put the vehicle on a huge trailer and drag it down the road with the crew riding on the trailer and shooting inside the van. This is called a Process Trailer shot but is much more costly and also very time consuming. I used a process trailer on the C-Note video I shot earlier this year and the Cadillac the band were riding in fell through the trailer: waste of an afternoon!

This morning we dressed up teams of innocent extras to represent the three decades of Buss’s remarkable career: The Fifth Unit (60’s), The Johnson 5 (70’s) and 2 Kool 4 Skool (80’s). The wardrobe, hair and make-up departments (Lorraine, Monique and Adina) excelled themselves with mutton chops, fros, wide lapels and instant tans.

I made the mistake of imbibing a popular night-time cold remedy last night and stumbled out of bed this morning feeling like a man with a rotting blanket for a head. As I stood in the shower thoughts tumbled through my brain along the lines of “if I collapse in the middle of a take will they find someone to yell cut?” Nevertheless Meredith my trusty assitant (and very popular amongst the lads I can tell you) was waiting for me down in the lobby with the Beast and shuttled me off to set ignoring my grumblings and whingeings like the lady she is.

The morning was filled with various dramas which I shall report on another occasion and the afternoon was spent watching Jerry, QT, Mickey, Doug and Chad try on a variety of stunning dancing outfits the like of which only Mr Buss could conjure up. The Firemen’s suits made me think of Village People, the catcher’s outfits made me think of Tom Hanks spitting chewing tobacco and the Tarzan outfits reminded me of an old Was Not Was video that I made back in the 80’s. 2gether – I’m so proud of them: they worked hard all day and nary a grumble between them.

And of course it rained from dawn till dusk.

Today was very special for us all as Mark Gunn and Brian Gunn (“we’re cousins not brothers”), our trusty scribes, were in Vancouver to watch us bring their words to life. I am happy to report that they were still talking to me after Maggie played them a bunch of dailies. Brian then changed into a Bellhop outfit and lead the guys to the bunker where Buss will turn them from raw recruits into finely tuned teen machines. Today’s Buss jacket was for the Transatlantic Rhythm Kings – another of my old bands. Hopefully my old band mates will have a snigger when they see this on MTV next year.

I checked my guestbook today and noticed that Erin had checked out the web site. She misses us and I’m sure Jerry and the lads are thinking about her too…

It was just like shooting that Backstreet Boys commercial in NYC all over again: 150 screaming girls and thick grey skies only this time my luck held out and it didn’t rain till we went inside where Chad and Mickey were giving Woah! lots of stick – “don’t dance so good,” they begged, “you make us look bad!”

After my plea for Chilliwack discs Tony (production designer) and Abraham (location man) both appeared with different Chilliwack albums for my collection. Nearly all my dreams on this job are coming true!

I’d been dreading the Jerry / Erin scene. Having seen it so many times in casting read by so many different actors I had lost sight of the lines and could only hear them one way. I also felt the actors were having the same problem. I used an old trick that Judy, my acting teacher, uses all the time. I made Erin say “But I’ve just cooked dinner” before every line. I made Jerry say “I want to go to Orlando” before every line. And the scene worked great. (You can learn many neat tricks like this from Judy – if you want to check out her class leave a message in the guest book or read her book “Directing Actors.”)

By the time we’d got back into the Spelling Bee everyone was in a holiday mood: it was Friday afternoon. We have acheived an enormous amount this week, have shot all of Act V and something from Acts I, II, III, VI & VIII and have managed to stay almost completely on schedule shooting mostly 12 hour days. It’s only rained about half of the time and we’ve all been to Chilliwack and back. I also feel I have connected with Marc (my DP) and Kevin (my AD) – I am touched by the quiet patience and unchecked enthusiasm they both show when I present them with my huge storyboards every day. Thank-god they both found me. My first night nerves are over now and I have to be on my guard to see that complacency doesn’t set in.

It’s Saturday night and the band are eating dinner over at QT’s place. I have stayed at the hotel to work: I felt the pressure of my shot-list bearing down on me and I needed to get that pencil moving again.

Passed Hilary Swank in the hotel lobby this morning – very serene and quietly beautiful. We also keep seeing vans for the guys from Spinal Tap waiting outside our hotel. They’re making a dog movie called “Best In Show.” I wonder if their movie will look wet like ours does?

An easy day: 120 extras, 4 contestants, one moderator, a bunch of cheerleaders, a couple of stunts and five fat-man outfits. A piece of cake…well almost but it was certainly a bit crumbly at first. Doug was brilliant: “It makes me a Heathen,” he sang over and over as the show fell to pieces around him. QT lapsed into his coma about 27 times (perhaps Jerry told him about last night’s kissing scene) and Chad took fall after fall – never once leaving his fat-man outfit. Come to think of it he’s taken a bashing these last few days – the wet-suit and now the fat-man thing…and we haven’t got to the speedo scene yet!

At the end a kind gent called Randy Thompson, who’d been one of our extras, gave me a copy of his book “A Journey.” At first glance it appears to be a description of his passage through many difficulties to a place of self awareness and peace. He writes: “Change is sometimes hard for people. Whatever is familiar is more comfortable even if that familiar is unhealthy. People are usually reluctant to change. They don’t know how it will come out. They don’t know what will happen. Fear of the unknown. But change is necessary for growth. Without it we stagnate.” Amen to that Randy.

Film-making, like any group endeavor, is often made by a million small kindnesses and thoughts coming 2gether. As I knock on wood I feel that making this film is an experience that is changing my life irrevocably and I feel blessed to be sharing my time here with so many good souls.

We started the day with a drive-by and finished with a stunt. A drive-by involves the crew and me sitting in some ditch and having the Indian park in some convenient lay-by 1/4 of a mile away until we’re ready. We then call “action” down the walkie and the Indian trundles into action towards us. After she’s passed we wait five minutes for her to turn around, drive back, do a second U-turn and reset. It’s all very time consuming and boring as hell for the actors. Then Doug had to swerve because there was a pole in the middle of the road and suddenly everyone was very focused again.

Movie / language trivia for you. What’s the French for “Walkie-Talkie” ? Would you believe “Talkie-Walkie”?

The stunt involved Marc (the DP) hanging out of the back of one of the Windstars with the camera while two stunt men swerved across the road behind us. We had to lock down a street and shoot it three different sizes. All very time consuming for just a few seconds of usable film.

Buss is ill with a cold / flu. I sent him home to bed – his boys will need him next week.

“Gentlemen knuckle-down time has begun.” So says Mr. Buss when he starts his boys on their inevitable road to stardom. And that’s where we are tonight…tomorrow is the first day of shooting with our guerilla-style splinter unit. Kevin has christened it the Sphincter Unit . We’ll be shooting drive-bys and bits and bobs that we don’t need the whole crew for – but even so this will be the first time most of us have gone into battle together or even 2gether! As the troops settle in for the night I feel rather excited – we have a great team both in front and behind the camera: I can’t wait to get my hands dirty and shoot some plastic. Wish us luck and some good weather!

I’ve met Doug at last. Doug will be played by Kevin Farley and Michael, Noah, Alex, Evan and I all had fish and chips with him for lunch. He’s funny and fun to be with and could be described as the missing link of our new Supergroup.

Today’s drama was the news that Bob Buss wouldn’t be making it up here on Sunday night as planned – he’s filming something else in San Diego that’s running late and he won’t be able to leave till Monday evening at the earliest. To help us out he is going to fly up here tomorrow for a wardrobe fitting before flying back in the evening to return to work. Like our DP who was shooting a video in Toronto till 9pm last night and appeared at the location scout here in Vancouver at 9am this morning, and myself who spent three weeks bouncing around the West coast like a yo-yo, Mr Buss is going to line the pockets of the airlines and tire himself out in the interests of creating a fine film and putting 2gether on the charts where they belong. As Buss would probably say: “Story of my life: they put problems my way, I bounce back…”

I’m in Vancouver for good now and it hasn’t stopped raining the whole time I’ve been here…the shape of things to come? We had the production meeting today – a big deal where the head of every department sits around a huge table and goes through the script scene by scene: 7 skateboarding punks here – 30 screaming fans with big hair there; one stunt double here – 4 breakaway table lamps there. Our first AD, Kevin, led us onwards at a breathless pace delivering his pithy version of each scene with a dry wit that reminded me what a gem of a script this is. Like many of the crew members he is not shy of staking his claim on his favourite gags. This very particular filmic ritual took place in the Squamish Recreation Centre, a beautiful building with the most highly polished floor I’ve ever seen on a basketball court. Thank-you the Squamish Nation for providing such a fine ambience for the first meeting of our little film tribe that will be burning plastic in just over a week from now. I hope I can complete this job with the same dignity and fortitude shown by the totem pole that watched us all as we climbed into our cars and drove off back to work.

Bill, our producer, has seen the perfectly adequate (and environmentally reasonable) car I was driving and has insisted production change it. Apparently it was not suitable for a man of my stature and, despite my protestations, Meredith (my assistant) and I are now proud parents of a humungous and ungainly black SUV. It takes up two spaces in the hotel parking lot.

We call it The Beast.

Just two weeks before kick-off and still no Doug but the crew’s getting bigger day by day. We’ve hired the costume department, the DP, an AD and the Production Designer and they’ve all quizzed and caught me out. They all see the script from their own perspective and it’s fascinating to watch them fixating on details that will be but mere pixels in the finished ‘work’ but which irrevocably create the atmosphere in which our actors will bring their parts to life. I feel overwhelmed by all these details. I remember a story John, who co-wrote Private Investigations, told me. He was directing his second movie and bumped into Francis Ford Coppola one day. John asked the bearded one for a word of directorial advice and FFC replied: “If you’re not constantly terrified, feeling sick with worry and unable to eat or sleep, then you’re not trying hard enough.”

Oh well, I must be doing OK then.